


The great human detective 2: the sequel that no one asked for.

by SkeletonHypetrain



Category: The Great Mouse Detective, the mertens
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 18:20:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeletonHypetrain/pseuds/SkeletonHypetrain
Summary: a good old story made at the beginning of 2018 originally posted in deviantart, enjoy if you can





	1. Chapter 1

Le Prologue:  
Basil was now at his home, he sitting on his sofa, thinking about his life and retirement after he Sparta kicked padraic,now what was Basil´s purpose?, he hasn’t , he went for a walk, main street was dark as usual, he found someone, he thought he would be his enemy, but no, it was paullie who was skateboarding, she notice him, and went towards him, she said with her annoying voice:``Hi there buddy´´´, bagel just said an ordinary and normal hello, she added:``I know that you´re havin´ a bad time pal, I have the remedy´´  
What is that?, bagel said.  
Some weeed, don’t ya remembah that I give ya a blunt for you?, she replied.  
Basil remember that,he remember when she showed that photo to him, ``Hey, im made a present for ya: it’s a bop it shaped bong and some weed.  
Then he smoke ze bongo,they started to walk,then paullie said:``didya know that there´s a rodent version of you?´´  
Really?, basil said.  
Yup, there´s an alternative reality set on the Victorian era, well 1897, and in this alternative reality, you are a rodent, your friends are rodents, well, some of them are insects, and that portrait of that fella that you had in your house, is also a rodent!,she replied with her annoying voice.  
Basil, with his red eyes because he was stoned, was like: holy shit, but then she asked him that he had something in his ear, she showed up to him a vhs of `the great mouse detective´´  
God, I hate this film. She said.  
Wow, I know why she´s different from those fangirls.basil said.  
Then basil told her that thanks for the bong and all that.  
She told him about she would be in the kart tournament, well basil just gonna visit them.


	2. Chapter 2

Le kart incident:  
Today was the day,today paullie was going to the Mario kart tournament, her friend,Paul(wearing his white mask),basil, her minions(not those awful yellow creatures that appear in someone´s mom facebook, the medieval gremlins from overlord), the tournament started, paullie was at the 3rd place, but then she was at the 1st place, hours later, during the final lap. While she was laughing, something went wrongu, in slow mo, when she almost go to the finish line, Mario saw her and said with his iconic italian accent: paullie, look-a behind-a ya!.  
She looked back in slow mo, she shouldn’t have done that, she looked at a blue shell that coming near to her.  
That slow mo scene moment was added with the song Vesti La Giubba from pagliacci, it was like that scene from ``the two faces of squidward´´ when squid was falling in slow mo and all that.  
The blue shell arrived to her, and BOOOM!, she sended right to the asphalt floor, but she was rolling, crushing, doing some mortal jumps,etc.  
The people were screaming, paul was shock, also basil, the minions started to cry, they didn’t want to lose another master just like gnarl.  
Paullie´s body was lying on the ground, her arms were twisted and broken,except her legs, her face was now red,her nose and jaw was gone,the ambulance came just to pick her.  
At the hospital of the stadium, basil was with paul and the other people, then a toad appeared, he said with his characteristic screech:``well, do you want to see your friend?´´, and they saw her laying on those things for the autopsy, toad removed the white blanket, everyone was shocked, paul screamed:``OMG SHE´S DEAD!´´  
But someone said:``well, at least she´s with him in hell´´  
But suddenly paullie get up and said: ``hi there´´,everyone screamed, she said: I was in hell in 3 seconds´´. Then, she went to them ,then she turned back showing her back opened, showing her spine and some black tentacles, she said: did someone has oxygenated water?, toad said:``Hera ya go´´. He throw a bottle of oxygenated water to her and illogicaly she went back to normal.  
Hey, we can watch at the MKTV what happened, toad screeched.  
Basil and his friends saw what happened, toad screeched: now, were gonna slow mo and zoom, they watched it, during when she was hit by the blue shell, they saw luigi staring at her, they notice that luigi had messy hair, yellow and red eyes, and he was smiling.  
Mario saw that and said:``Mamma mia!, luigi you need to watch this!´´, luigi went to his bro, Mario said:``why didya do that brother?´´, luigi replied:``Mario, I didn’t do that, I didn’t throw the blue shell, I was at the 5th place, not in the 2nd place´´  
Paul asked:``so luigi, if you didn´t throw the blue shell…, who was the green doppleganger´´  
(insert DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! Here.)


	3. Chapter 3

Technology and darko soulzo:

Paullie: well ra´s this is the mansion.  
Ra´s: you showed me that mansion 2 weeks ago.  
Paullie: oh, I didn´t remember that.  
Ra´s: you said that in this mansion has some paranormal phenomena  
Paullie:yeah.  
Paullie: but don’t worry you are best in bed because…  
Ra´s: because of(le eyebrow raise)  
Paullie: you are a human glowing stick, just look at your dragon tattoos, it glows in the dark  
(Author´s note: ra´s has his design of arkham city)  
Paullie: one more thing, you look young, like if you are in your 30s.  
Ra´s: nah, I was at the lazarus pits, if you excuse me, I need to met with Timothy  
Paullie: you mean Timmy the red robin?  
Ra´s: yes, so bye.  
Paullie: also bye, im going to pick up basil to go the Deskchum, call me later, my sweet demonhead.  
After paullie was with her boyfriend, she went to Basil´s home just pick him to take him to the deskchum: a big shop with technology, Japanese imported stuff, videogames,etc.  
Now, the merterns were at that shop with basil showing the tvs,computers,etc.  
Paullie: this is a magic rectangle  
Basil: I know what is this paullie, I know this , im not a grandpa  
Paul: if you think that, just think what if padraic was in this shop right now.  
Paul(imitating padraic´s voice): MY SWEET MOTH IS UNDER THE POWER OF THAT RECTANGLE THAT CONTAINS WITCHCRAFT.  
Basil: (laughs)  
Paullie: that was so savage.  
Basil: if padraic heard that, he would kill you,paul.  
Paul: glad he´s dead  
Basil: that was also so savage.  
Paullie: we are the only ones in here, so how about we can play dark souls 3.  
So the merts and Basil played dark souls,while they are playing paul and basil´s avatars from that game were waiting for her, her avatar with the iconic golden mask of the game(y´know the legend never dies), during hours of hard gaming, half of the hour paullie was rolling around, kicking some enemies, basil died a lot on this game,the best part is that paullie made the known taunt of the legend never dies when they were fighting against the giant rat.  
3 hours later, Paullie showed a laptop to basil, she said:``well basil, you know that internet is a great place´´  
But they saw a something awful  
Basil: why there´s me and why padraic is shirtless…oh.  
Basil notice that paullie was shocked, paul was also shocked.  
Llie just closed the laptop and said: 34 is a bad number.


	4. Chapter 4

Convention Complex.  
The next day, paullie was outside with perospero, vito and capone gang bege(author´s note: this is based on rinkusu001´s titanic AU fanart of one piece).  
Capone asked his friends if they had the stuff, one of them showed a suitcase and opened it, there was 100.000 $.  
``Well,well, it seems that you done it´´she said.  
``yes, right now those guys are rivals to us´´ told Vito.  
Vito:well, capone, we need to go to the convention.  
Capone: alright guys, see ya later.  
Capone: alright, Paullie,here´s your money,I know that those days are now complicated due to what happened after your return and playing those creepy games, if you need help, just call me, me and my friends will help you, see you at the convention.  
Hours later, She went to Mainstreet´s comicon, paul was also there, she saw that someone showed her a videoclip starring her in one of the halls of the mansion, she was floating and resolving a rubik cube, while she was resolving it, the halls turned into a inception-esque room.  
Basil spended his time discovering with the help of paullie: the wonders of the 21st century.  
Paullie spent her time playing smash bros melee, just dance,she played the piano and singed with gengar the song:``Black and white´´ from GHOST.  
The hours passed, the merterns were in one of the talks about the great mouse detective, during the talks, one of the fans said: ``Paula, do you remember that day´´  
Paullie said: of course I remember that day, that day when the celebi event arrived on Mainstreet.  
The fans were shocked.  
Another fan: yeah that event took place at the same time that day.  
Fan: OH SHUT UP, paula don’t you remember when you said no to..  
Paullie: nope, I don’t remember that  
Fan: what no,no,no, I mean that….  
(8 hours of a fan telling the case 4 of the cases later until he snaps out)  
Fan: I HAD ENOUGH, CAUSE YOU FREAKIN´ FREAKS JUST CAN´T BE QUENCHED AT YOUR FANTANSIES CAN EVER BE QUENCHED CAN THEY, YOU FREAKIN´ FREAKS(he goes towards paullie), WHEN YOU WILL LEARN PAULA, WHEN YOU WILL LEARN(warning ear rape incoming)THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!   
Paullie: wait, but what consequences?  
Fan: (Points angrily at padraic)  
Paullie: the consequences are the vending machine  
Fan: no, HIM!  
Paullie: im sorry but I can only see the vending machine.  
Fan: HIM  
Paullie: who?  
Fan: PADRAIC RATIGAN!  
Paullie: who the fuck is Padraic?  
And then the Fan let out a screech and bursted into treats.  
Paullie: oh boy,what an asshole, well, im going to orden some mcdonalds with my pals, im gonna order some 23 cheeseburgers.


	5. Chapter 5

2 douchebags in distress:

Basil was at his home again, his new phone rang, he picked it, it was paullie, she sended a video,the start of the video was this: there was a black background, the theme of x files was playing, there was a text that said: I was at the mansion with mert, but that night some shit happened, we started to record it at night and this happened.  
The video showed now showed a room of the mansion, but suddenly, it appeared paullie wearing a white blanket as an improved ghost costume.  
Then the screen went to black again that showed a white text: U got spoop.  
Basil laughed, paullie sended a photo of him, she typed: throwback Saturday: now you are a meme.  
After that basil, went for a walk, and he saw the merterns, OBVIOUSLY, but he notice that they wear black shirts.  
Basil: hi guys, why are you wearing those shirts that said: douchebag number 1 and douchebag number 2.  
Paullie: nah, I need to wash my gengar sweater, so we are wearing those shirts.  
The merterns both wear those shirts, jeans, shoes.  
Paullie was wearing kamina glasses and acowboy hat, paul was wearing a rainbow dash fedora and his mask.  
Paullie just said to basil that they are going to some guys´s secret base.  
After that conversation, the merterns went to the secret base, evil building whathever,as they entered, she saw some of the ex-henchmen of her dead Ex(fidget was not in there), while they were walking,she found a portrait of padraic, she said:``what the fuck is that´´, but paul said:``watch your profanity.., some of the henchfolk said that they were now playing Ouija, the merterns didn’t play Ouija, the moment has started, the henchmen put some black candles, a red stanic pentagram, the ex henchfolk used a glass for the letter.  
One said:``is anyone there´´. The glass move to the word: yes.  
One of the group said: tell us your name.  
The glass moved to the following wordzus: P-A-D-R-A-I-C.  
Everyone was spooked, one asked:why you are here?  
But this one started to nosebleed, saying something backwards, his head was spinning, and he fall dead.  
Paullie said: run.  
So ther merts started to run, llie just phoned Capone gang bege, during the phone call, she locked one of the doors, locking the ex-henchfolk.  
After that, the merterns saw in the floor a trail of blood, they opened the door, the scenery was a nightmare.  
``Oh my god, the room had it´s time of the month, llie said.  
Fred the Janitor appeared and said:``goddamn it, do I need to clean this again!, sorry guys.´´  
Paul started to think, everything that happened during the next days was LINKed to this Ouija shit.  
So it means, the re-re-rereturn(padraic never gives up)


	6. Chapter 6

Dawn of the final Day(24 hours remain):  
The next day, at one of the buildings of the merterns, Basil was sitting on one of the office´s chairs, while paullie was playing Zelda majoras mask in her majoras mask new 3ds, paul was running to see his friendos.  
He screamed: HE´S BAAAACK!  
Basil: who?  
Paul: PADRAIC RATIGAN.  
Paullie just looked at paul, on her 3ds the music of the final day was playing, glad that paullie just save the game.  
But then, without explaining why or there´s a lot of reasons about what the fuck was happening, paullie just threw herself in one of the windows, she running and screeching like a t-rex(well trex don’t screech they caw like the birbs), pieces of broken glass were embedded on her body, and face, shen went on her car: a golf cart, when she drive was driving so fast, she screamed:`` YOU´LL NEVER GET ME FLANAGAN, NOT UNTIL I SHIFT INTO MAXIMUM KYOGREDRIVE.  
She was still screaming, she pressed a button with a drawing of kyogre and said:``Kyogre, there´s some serious shit goin´ down´´. When left the car, she continue running and screaming, kyogre appeared, she used fly with kyogre,and they flew to the top of a building,after she sended kyogre to his pokeball, she didn’t expected that celebi wearing a war helmet was there.  
But meanwhile,paul was doing some parkour, but unfortunately fell.  
Paul: okay don´t panic, remember what paullie said  
Paullie(In paul´s mind picture) : if youre getting into trouble you have to do is  
Padraic(also in paul´s mind) : feels like im wearing nothing at all, nothing at all,NOTHING AT ALL.  
Paul: (screech).  
Fortunately paul fell on paullie´s base.  
Paullie: hi paul  
Paul:hi paullie, celebi why the fuck are you here?  
Celebi: I just wanted to beat that evil mad man, please I survived the near apocalypse of 2009, the battle of chronocon,the darkening.  
Paul: ok, paullie why you have those shards of broken glass all of your body?  
Paullie: I threw myself into a window  
The merterns saw the countdown was at cero, and the gates of hell apeeared as a crack on the ground. Some tentacles appeared, and blah,blah, and of course Padraic.  
Paul: oh, no, is him.  
Paullie: what, behind him?  
Paul:it is the padraic  
Padraic turned around to see the merts  
Padraic: im back, oh my sweet moth, long time no…  
Paullie: I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION, YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!  
Padraic: are saying this in an Canadian accent  
Paullie: YES I´M DUTCH-CANADIAN, WHY DO YOU THINK THAT I HAVE THIS OUTRAGEOUS ACCENT!.  
After that, hell started to flow, celebi prepared his stuff.  
Paul: celebi no  
Celebi: celebi yeah, tell suicune tgat is the best dad.  
Celebi flew away and said:YOLO.  
But he was sended to the base, padraic just fuckin´ beat the shit out an onion fairy.  
Paul sended his celebi to his gs ball, while paullie was drinking a can of beer.  
Paul:this bitch´s empty, yet.  
But instead of throwing the can of beer, she threw herself to the ground.  
Padraic: are you okay?  
Paullie: no.  
Padraic: just look at you,you have those broken glass shards, let me help you.  
And then padraic remove those shards of glass that paullie had, at least she now with bandages, and then draic hugged llie.  
Padriac: oh, I missed you a lot, been in hell with those reptilian creatures  
Paullie: ya mean my minions  
Padriac:yes, those creatures were trying to kill me  
Paullie: but hey, you still jealous about my boyfriend right  
Padraic: yes…, why do you have to be with that vermin. But do you remember me?  
Paullie: no, I do not remember you, I don’t why I tell you about my first boyfriend, why are you telling that?.  
Padraic: you forgot me right?...  
But suddenly, padraic just turned into a black tar-esque creature, it was like a fusion between the mouldy creatures from resident evil VII and the 3rd form of jack baker from the same game, and jabba the hut from star wars.  
Paullie just ran away can call paul, basil and capone gang bege and his friends.  
The merterns and basil reacted to mouldydraic, but the hooded hood appeared, he said:``it´s the instability of amnesicon, his form couldn´t adapt this atmosphere.  
Paul released his black kyurem, the battle just lasted about 5 hours, but basil had the balls to beat the shit out of padraic.  
But at nearly end of the battle, paullie said(note: just imagine this but drawn just like jojo´s bizarre adventure):``Omae wa mou shindeiru.  
Padraic: what!  
And then the hooded hood sended him to hell, again.  
And the hellish city turned back to normal.  
AND SO ONCE AGAIN THE DAY IS SAVED THANKS TO THE MERTERNS and basil.  
The end  
Happy 2K18!


	7. Chapter 7

Dawn of a new day(le epilogue):  
Paullie was at her apartment in gotham, playing batman:return to arkham, she paused the game and phoned paul.  
Paullie: yo paul, im playing batman return to arkham, wanna see it  
Paul:sure, why not?  
After that, the merterns played batman return to arkham telling about what happened 4 weeks ago.  
Expecting return of Padraic, TOO BAD WALUIGI TIME!  
The REALLY end.


End file.
